Happily Ever After
by Miric
Summary: Sometimes isn't exactly how you'd hope. Set after 'Perfect'. Love isn't always an easy road, especially when you die every now and again. Kenny/OC, Stan/Kyle Style
1. Happily Ever After

_Welcome back all! I had mentioned a one shot epilogue sort of thing from Stan's point of view. I started writing it, and it took off without me. It's going to be a liiiittle longer than previously expected. Again I warn you that there is language and slash in this fic. Again though it will take the back seat to the relationship between Kenny and Kristen. Also, this one is going to be a little bit more racy than the first. Well, with no more ado..._

Happily Ever After.

Pulling on his last pair of clean socks, Stan stretched, pulling on his now clothed feet. Smiling at the pleasant stretch in his back he sat up and looked over at the rest of the bed. It's redheaded inhabitant was all but invisible in the tangle of covers that he had once again captured at some point during the night.

Stan laughed quietly as he realized that Kyle had somehow actually managed to pull the mattress cover out from around the mattress and wrap it around himself as well. Standing he stretched again, his shoulders cracking as he raised them above his head. He closed the bedroom door behind him quietly, contentment washing over him.

He wandered over to the fridge, looking over the contents aimlessly before yanking out the milk. As he made himself a bowl of cereal his mind drifted back to the previous night and a grin slipped onto his lips. Warm skin, questing lips, and unsure hands.

It still blew his mind, even after three months, that tomorrow would be the same. He would wake up beside his red headed best friend, go to work, come home to the same redhead, and go to bed together. And now, apparently, beds were for more than sleeping.

Since the whole fiasco with Kristen, Kyle had been hesitant to jump into anything physical. It made sense, considering he had just left the woman he had expected to spend the rest of his life with to go live with a man. Regardless of their best friend status, it was still rather odd. Or brain scrambling actually. Especially for Kyle, since he hadn't had a chance to come to terms with the idea before the decision was shoved on him. Stan at least had gotten his head slightly wrapped around it. As it stood, Stan still had to remind himself on a regular basis that, yes, he was allowed to grab the other man's hand, or kiss him goodbye.

It wasn't that it was uncomfortable. Actually, it was anything but uncomfortable. It was so completely natural that it made them wonder how they had managed to avoid it for so long. But maybe that was the problem. They had compressed that reaction for so long that now the suppression was a habit. But it was slowly becoming easier.

And last night, oh last night. Stan grinned happily at his Cheerios. The barrier had quiet obviously been breached. Kyle seemed to have deemed it long enough of a wait. He had never actually said so, but it had been rather obvious when he had jumped Stan when he walked in the door from work. He was pretty sure he had the same look on his face as Kenny must have when...He shook his head. The guilt that wracked him over his blonde friend had been gnawing at him for weeks.

It had been a couple of weeks after Kenny had left that either of them had noticed.

He still felt awful about it. They had both known Kristen had left. She had sent Kyle and email warning him that the apartment they had lived in was now empty, if they had wanted it. They had both been against that idea and someone else had already taken up residence there. Kenny hadn't said anything, but they hadn't seen him much in the month between the incident and when the girl had moved back home.

Both he and Kyle had both thought that it was just because the blonde was angry at them. He had always been overly protective of the petite brunette girl and they had hurt her. Badly. It didn't help that they had been so wrapped up in each other at that point that the world just didn't seem important. Finally Stan had made his way over to Kenny's home, with a case of beer as an apology. He had completely missed the 'for sale' sign on the front lawn as he walked up. He had knocked on the door for a solid five minutes before he gave up.

As he had left he had noticed the wooden sign. He had stood there for another ten minutes, staring at the two words in disbelief. He had known instantly where the blonde was, but it was hard to process. A South Park without Kenny? It just didn't make sense. He was such an integral part of the towns make up that it was just...There were no words. He had called Kyle immediately, informing him of their missing childhood friend.

Kyle had been silent on the other end for a long before he had breathed a sigh of...something. Relief? Regret? Stan had never asked.

'I'm glad she has someone taking care of her,' was all he had said on the matter.

Standing up, Stan dumped his now empty bowl on the counter. He had talked to Kenny a couple of times since then, keeping the conversations pretty casual. His hand hesitated over the phone before he picked it up decisively. Dialing the familiar cell number he waited.

"Kenny McCormick." The familiar voice slipped past his ear into the space around him. It was like he hadn't left. The twinge of professionalism was still an odd thing to hear in the blondes voice.

"Hey Kenny. It's Stan." He settled on to a kitchen chair, kicking his feet up onto the table.

"Oh, hey dude. How's it going?"

"Not too bad, you?"

"Pretty good. Still house hunting. Housing prices in Toronto are ridiculous."

"Yeah, I had heard that." There was a long silence. "Ken, obviously tell me if I'm overstepping my bounds but...How's Kristen?" The next silence was tense.

"Why do you want to know?" Stan felt his face flush in shame at the memory of how he had treated the girl.

"I just...I know Kyle's worried about her. But he won't call or email her because he doesn't want to hurt her more than she is."

"Yeah, that's a good call on his part right now." Kenny sighed, and Stan could here him settling on the other end.

"She's...coping I guess. She has her good days and her bad days but she seems to be a fair bit better since she's back with her family. Her mom is awesome. Best cookies ever." Stan laughed a bit at that.

"Of course. So are you two...together? Or what?" He had already broken the fun barrier, so he may as well go for broke. He could hear Kenny sigh, and some kind of rustling sound. He was probably rubbing his eyes. Stan had noticed at some point he always did that when he was stressed or frustrated.

"No. Not really. We're rooming together in a two bedroom downtown but...that about it. I mean, we've kissed a couple of times but-" He seemed to be fighting with his words. "She's really hurt Stan. She loves him way more than what's rational. It isn't something that just disappears. She told me straight up that she doesn't know if she'll ever be okay with us together, since I remind her so much of him." Stan could hear the pain in the last few words.

"Really? I thought..."

"What? That just because things work out peachy keen for you, that means everything will come up roses for the rest of us? Some of us don't always get exactly what we want." Stan flinched at Kenny snapped at him, his soft voice sharp. There was a long moment before Stan heard something that sounded rather like a sigh come from the other man. "I'm sorry dude. I'm just a little on edge I guess. Kristen's mood swings seem to be catching."

Stan felt his chest clench tighter at the apology.

"No, I'm sorry Ken. I fucked up a lot of things doing what I did, and I'm really the only one who didn't get hurt. It isn't fair, and I know that. And I know I disappeared on you, and I've kind of been treating you like crap the last year. But I want to make it up to you. You're one of my best friends."

"Does that mean I get another chance to get jumped by you then? After Kyle takes his turn?" The joke was empty of Kenny's normal humor, but Stan smiled regardless.

"Sorry. That was a one time offer. You said no."

"Aw, come on. I stopped to save your feelings."

"Yeah well, pretty stupid of you." There was a snort on the other end. "I...So how are you, really?" He heard Kenny mutter something about men, feelings, and talking before a long moment.

"Not great. I didn't expect any better when I came out here but...I guess I had hoped, you know? It's hard to be around her all the time and just not know. I have no fucking clue about what is allowed one day to the next. And to be fair, neither does she."

"Then why did you leave?" Stan asked quietly. "If you knew it was going to be like that?"

"Because I want her, and I need her," was the gentle response. Their last heart to heart conversation flashed through his memory. There were only two questions to answer when it came to love. "And if all I get it what I have, I'm okay with that. I just need to be around her. And who knows. It's only been a couple months."

Stan jumped as a warm hand pressed on his bare shoulder gently. He looked up at Kyle's gentle smile before the redhead moved past him silently to the cupboards. He watched the young man make his way around the kitchen, pale skin catching the sun. Loose green sweats hung around thin hips enticingly.

"Stan?" Shaking his head he turned his attention back to the phone.

"Yeah, sorry?"  
"I asked how you two are?" A smile slid over his mouth again.

"We're good," he answered simply, knowing Kenny didn't need anything more than that to understand. He heard a quiet voice on the other line, then Kenny's. He had obviously pulled the receiver down.

"Sorry Dude," he said as he turned back to the phone. "Kristen's ready for work, and she's giving me a ride to the gym. I'll talk to you later alright?"  
"Yeah, no problem."

"See ya." As the line went dead Stan turned to meet the green eyes of his own red head.

"Morning." An adorable blush crept lightly up on Kyle's cheeks as he turned back to his own cereal, a grin sliding onto his lips.

"Morning." Stan laughed slightly and slid around behind his friend. His arms snaked around his waist and he pressed a kiss to the boys temple lightly.

"How was your sleep?"

"Slept like a log dude." Dancing eyes met his again.

"Good. I guess that means we've cured your insomnia. We'll have to do it again." Stan swallowed, nuzzling into Kyle's neck. The sneaky question in his joke was in no way hidden from his best friend. He found his head pulled around and lips placed on his comfortably.

"Fuck yes." Kyle grinned mischievously as he pulled away. He glanced down at his wrist. "Actually I think I have an hour or two before I have to be anywhere so..."

He never did get to finish his sentence.


	2. And After

Pulling on his sweats Kenny climbed into bed. He flipped open his laptop, scanning the emails on his account absently. Deleting the irritating junk mail and forwards. He clicked on an email from 'ET Cartman' and scanned over the review of his latest conquest. Their newest interest in Egypt had been extremely fruitful, gather multiple new items to be auctioned off to different sellers and an even larger selection that the local museums were gathering together.

Altogether the two week trip had been worth the sunburns and sand irritated cough he had gotten. His Egyptian clients were an interesting group to deal with, never mind the political hoops you had to climb through to export any kinds of historical artifacts from the country. He had done it enough though that he had managed to find a couple of short cuts in the form of a few friends of his higher up in the department of national history. Obviously they would never take anything of true cultural value, but there was nothing wrong with showing some of the less imperative treasures to the rest of the world.

He frowned at the post script.  
_  
And by the way, I will be staying at your home for a while starting next week. I will be arriving on the 13th and staying for a for now undetermined amount of time. Kristen and I have already made the arrangements._

Waffles are not an acceptable meal.

Cartman.

Friday the thirteenth was never a good day for Kenny, and this couldn't be considered a good omen either. While he liked his dark haired friend, there was a limit on the amount of quality time they could spend without murdering each other. Though it was fairly obvious that he was not the one that the other man was coming to see.   Actually the fact that he had been informed at all was rather surprising. He sighed, shutting the laptop with a satisfying _click _and leaned back into his collection of feather pillows. He didn't bother with a lot of luxuries, as he couldn't really see the point in them, but when it came to tv's and pillows there was no arguing. He would have the best. He burrowed further into the mountain behind him and sighed contentedly. The only thing that could make this bed better would be a woman in it.

His mind sighed, blue eyes flashing behind his eyelids. He growled and glared at the wall between his bedroom and his petit room mate. He couldn't even enjoy a fantasy anymore. He felt guilty even thinking about other women, which was ridiculous considering there was absolutely nothing going on between them romantically.

They had kissed a few times since they had left South Park, but nothing overly involved, and most were fairly platonic seeming. If it hadn't been for the flood of molten want he had felt when her lips pressed to his he would almost have been able to believe that they were simply brotherly kisses.

He groaned quietly in frustration at the memory and the stirring in the pit of his stomach. If the simple memory of her kisses could bring up this kind of response in him, he couldn't even imagine what would happen if anything did ever happen between them. Soft white skin pressed up against his, her hot breath on his neck and her hands tangled in his hair...

He swallowed heavily his hand slipping past the elastic of his pants. Memories and fantasies swirled in a convoluted mess in his mind as his breathing raced and his body burned.

Finishing with a sigh he grabbed on of his pillows, pushing over his face. He growled into it frustratedly. He had never been this long without some kind of companionship in bed. He had never been one for commitment but he had had his share of flings. It had been a bloody long time since he had been able to share someone else's body heat, in a manner of speaking.

Once again his eyes found the wall between him and his room mate. It wasn't that he couldn't get someone if he had wanted. Chances are she wouldn't even blame him if he did, and if she found out.

But he didn't _want_ anyone else. Not anymore. He sighed again, rolling over to flick his lights off. Yawning he allowed his mind to wander, drifting to sleep.

Kenny sat up sharply, his head spinning at the sound of his door creaking open. As his eyes adjusted to the light from the hallway he could see a small figure standing hesitantly in the doorway.  
"Kristen?" She took a few forward, her feet running along the carpet.

"I can't sleep..." Her voice was weary, and unsure. He paused for a moment, waiting for his brain to figure out what her unstated request was. He had never been the most coherent right after waking. Finally it clicked. Lifting the comforter off the other side of the bed he waved her forward.

"Get in." He watched as she settled into the mattress beside him, curling up into her normal tiny ball. He ran a hand through her hair absently before laying down again. The heat from her body leeched over, heating his chilled appendages and lulling him back into sleep.

"Thank you," she murmured sleepily, burrowing her nose into his shoulder. He lifted his arm, pulling her over comfortably. Slowly the small ball relaxed and her body curved to fit his. Her head fit comfortably onto his shoulder, her rhythmic breathing deep and calm. He yawned.  
"No problem." She curled tighter into his arms, the tension from the day slipping out of her. He breathed deeply, the fading scent of vanilla and filling his nose. He kissed the top of her head absently, smiling as she murmured incomprehensibly. He gently ran his hand down her back, before swallowing and trying to return to sleep.

* * *

  
Warm breath slipped along his neck as his eyes fluttered open. Looking down his own breathe caught.

Kristen lay in his arms comfortably, her breathing calm and slow, her cheeks pink from the warmth of his body. Long eyelashes lay along creamy skin, and dark hair curled around her ears madly. The short hair had been a shock the first time he had seen it.

When they had met, her hair had fallen well past her shoulders in subtle waves. When Kyle had left her, a solid 8 inches of hair had left with him. The short bob she wore was the latest in a parade of different hair cuts since then. She had told him at one point that she had always done that as a teenager. Her hair had changed with the seasons but when she had met Kyle he had mentioned offhandedly that he liked long hair.

She hadn't cut it since.

Personally Kenny liked this look the best on her so far. The hair framed her soft face, brushing her chin at the front and sharply angling into a mess of layers in the back. Without thinking his lips brush along her cheek. And he froze as she murmured.

Idiot, he growled inwardly. It wasn't often he could just look at her without being scolded for staring and he had managed to mess this one up. Her eyes drifted open and she looked up. The light blush on her cheeks darkened as she met his eyes. She bit her lip gently.

"Um...morning," she murmured.

"Morning," he answered just ask softly, smiling at her. She buried her head into his shoulder.

"Sorry," she muttered. He laughed slightly.

"About what?"

"Invading your room." Another laugh.  
"You are always welcome in here Sweety." He brushed another kiss along her forehead. She smiled up at him brightly. A grumble from his stomach set her into a fit of giggles.

"Hungry Sir?" She asked with a grin. His smile matched hers.

"You bet!" He rolled over her, ignoring her squeaked protests and flopped off the bed on the other side making his way out the door. He grin brighter at her mutters following him out the door.

Fifteen minutes later they sat with full plates, having ignored the normal breakfast stereotypes. Chicken sandwiches and chips were crunched away as they ate comfortably.

"We should get you a fake ID." He looked up at the girl oddly a her rather random pronouncement.

"You do realize I'm legal in the States right? Obviously I'm legal here." She rolled her eyes, taking another bite of her sandwich.

"I meant for when you die. Obviously it'll be a pain in the ass if they actually decide your dead and sell all your stuff and whatever. This isn't South Park - they won't just ignore you now. There will be lawyers and coroners and all that crap."

"That's...not a bad idea actually. If they figure out it's fake it doesn't matter. Because I'm dead. Though typically the rats get at me before anyone can actually identify me. It would be a good extra precaution though." He saw her expression darken.

"Little fuzzy fuckers..." She bit into her sandwich violently, glaring at the plate beneath it. Kenny fought for a long moment, his face twitching. Finally he broke, laughing.

"Little fuzzy...wow. That's amazing Kris. Absolutely hilarious." He chuckled as he dumped his now empty plate into the dishwasher. Her face was flushed as he turned around, leaning against the counter comfortably.

"Well they _are_!" She protested. "I mean seriously! You aren't even gone for like five minutes and the little buggers are...are.." He just continued to grin as she faded into embarrassed mutters.

"Well they do help really. Most of the time they get me before the cops can really make a big deal of it. So a solid fifty percent of the times I die I don't have to deal with having been pronounced dead. Which is a pain in the ass, by the way." He shrugged offhandedly as she nodded, still flustered.

He just chuckled as she made her way absently into the bathroom, and heard the shower rush on. She was just so damn cute.

* * *

_Hey everyone-_

_So this one is pretty short, but it's just setting up for the actual plot line to start up. This one seems to be becoming much more involved than my last one, and like I said, mature content! I already have a lot of the story pieced together, but I'm still not certain how long it will end up._

_So enjoy, and let me know any opinions, ideas, and whatever else you have to say!_

_  
Miric_


	3. One Step at a Time

_She was just so damn cute._

Kyle pushed his desk chair back, glancing at his sociology partner as she sketched out plans for their essay. She lay sprawled over the bed, her long almost black hair falling absently around her shoulders. He stared at her for a long time before she glanced up, noticing his eyes on hers.

He felt his chest clench as blue eyes met his in confusion.

"You okay Kye?" She asked quietly, a small frown on her face. He nodded, standing up. He swallowed before crouching at the end of the bed. Confusion continued to flit through her eyes as he stared at her nervously.

He heard her gasp as his lips pressed lightly against hers. He pulled away slowly, refusing to look into her eyes. Silence filled the room for a long time.

"Kristen, I really like you," he murmured quietly. He could feel his cheeks burning brightly, more likely than not matching his flaming hair. His head shot up at her whispered comment.

"That's good. Cause I rather like you too."  


* * *

Kenny leaned back into the chair, readjusting the phone to his ear. He listened, absently picking at his nails as Stan rambled about some idiot at work.

"Hm?" Stan's last sentence had sounded like a question of some kind.

"I said, so, has anything changed lately?"

"Changed what?" He heard Stan growl under his breath.

"Between you and Kristen, dumb ass," he clarified, frustration at the blond clear in his voice.

"No, not really... well...We've been sleeping together," he added absently. There was a long silence.

"When I ask you if anything has changed, that definitely is_ something_. What do you mean 'No, not really'?" Stan's voice had slipped up in register. Kenny had to bite back a laugh at his squeaky friend.

"Calm down you girl. Not sex. Sleeping. As in we are both unconscious in the same bed." He stretched, feeling his back cracking. "I found out she snores. Kind of. More like squeaky breathing."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh is right."

"Why?"

"Dude, what's with the mono-syllabics? Apparently she has nightmares. And I think she's afraid of the dark, though she won't admit it. She's gotten in the habit of climbing into bed with me every second night or so." He was unsure of what else to say. He wasn't really all that sure what to think of it. On one hand she could want his presence and be seeking it out...but that was probably his hope battling it's way up again. The more likely answer was that she was looking for a living teddy bear.

"Are you okay with that?" Kenny frowned in confusion.

"What do you mean? It's just sleeping."

"I guess..." There was another silence.

"Dude. You are SUCH a GIRL." Stan laughed, and Kenny could almost hear him rolling his eyes.

"Fuck off blondie. I am not."

"Oh no? So Kyle's the girl?" Kenny's voice oozed innocence.

"What? No? He's - I'm....shut up." Kenny snorted at the stuttering nonsense.

"Oh, so you alternate? That's fair."

"Kenny!" Suddenly Kenny could hear shuffling on the line, as the sounds crackled.

"Stan?" He asked curiously, unsure of the noise.

"Hey Ken." Kyle's voice slipped over the line calmly. "I just figured I'd let you know that yes, we do alternate. And yes, you should regret not tapping that when you had the chance." That was the last straw for the blonde as he burst into hysterics. Kyle's smooth, calming voice stating something so blatantly crude was one of the funniest things he had ever heard.

As he finally managed to calm himself down he could hear the two men arguing on the other line. He could hear Kyle laughing as Stan's voice finally came back.

"Shut up Kyle. Sorry about that..." Kenny grinned, wiping his eyes.

"Oh no problem. I always wondered if I should have regretted that. Now I know that I missed a hellion in bed." As Stan continued to stutter awkwardly Kenny heard the doorbell. "Oh, I got to go dude. I think Kris managed to lock herself out again. I'll talk to you later."

He let Stan mutter a goodbye before hanging up the phone and making his way to the door. He pulled it open and smiled at the blushing brunette in front of him.

"Locked yourself out again?" She just glared and shouldered past him embarrassedly.

"Shut up." He rolled his eyes with a grin and followed her into the kitchen as she kicked off her shoes and left a trail of jackets and sweaters and mitts along the hallway. He leaned on the door frame as she stomped around the kitchen in her socks, muttering to herself as she slammed cupboards open and shut.

Finally as she settled with a cup of tea, leaning against the island he approached.

"Bad day?" He asked, his eyebrow raised. She glanced up at him.

"Yes." She pouted, pulling at her tea like it was a beer. "Ouch! Hot..." He snuck in closer, placing his arms on either side of her. She looked up, surprised by his sudden closeness.

"Aw, poor baby," he grinned. "Want me to kiss it better?" She paused, only for a second before her lips brushed his gently. His breath caught in surprise, as it always did when her pretty pink lips pressed to his. He mentally shook himself and kissed her back gently, his tongue brushing her lips.

The taste of mint and her invaded his senses as her lips parted, allowing his tongue to sweep along hers. His hand slipped up to hold her face gently as the kiss continued. As she pulled away finally and rested her head on his shoulder gently he slipped and arm around her waist, holding her loosely to him. They stood there for a long time comfortably, the heat from the mug she still gripped seeping into his chest.

"So," she murmured finally. "What's for supper?"  


* * *

_His eyes widened as she pushed him down onto the couch with a grin. He could smell the alcohol on her breath and hear the loud shouts from the party downstairs. Her lips were on his then, and he kissed her back enthusiastically. Warm hands slipped down his chest to run up under his shirt._

He shivered as her fingers ran over a particularly sensitive bit of skin. His hands tangled into her hair and he pulled her down further, pressing his body to hers. He heard a small gasp escape her pretty mouth and he grinned.

"You're aggressive when your drunk," he muttered absently. She pulled away and raised an eyebrow. She leaned down to trail the pink tip of her tongue gently along the shell of his ear eliciting another shudder from him. She laughed quietly.

"I'm not drunk Kyle. I just really want you."   


* * *

It had been three days since the Kitchen Kiss and Kenny had done his best to remove the memory from his mind. Kristen had returned to normal during the days, though he still found her more often then not curled up in his bed when he woke up in the morning. He sat at the kitchen table, his fingers tapping an absent rhythm. He glanced out the window and saw two familiar brunettes climbing out of Kristen's car. He watched quietly as they pulled multiple bags out of the trunk and made their way to the door.

Kenny felt his stomach twist uncomfortably and turned away from the window. Stupid unreasonable jealousy. No matter who it was around her, he always had this damn pain in his chest, and a searing need to pull her away. He sighed.

He closed the door on his bedroom silently, as he heard the two wander into the house chattering randomly. As he heard footsteps in the hallway he quickly flicked the lights off and crawled into his bed. Misery had been crawling through his mind all day and he was not in the mood to deal with Cartman's version of affection.

The door cracked open, then shut quietly.

"I think he's asleep. He didn't look that well this morning, so we should probably just leave him be." Kristen's quiet voice made it's way through the thin wood of the door. He rolled over, looking up at the ceiling.

She had noticed.

She _noticed_ that he had been feeling crappy all day. Some of the misery tightening around his heart lifted, and he took a deep breath. It was amazing how one tiny comment from that girl could do something so utterly insane to his emotional status. He lay there quietly for a long time before sliding out of bed and out of his room. He ghosted down the hallway, absently considering joining the two who he could hear in the living room.

He glanced around the corner. Kristen was facing away from him, curled into her normal spot on the love-seat.

Cartman sat across from the short haired woman, sipping his coffee delicately. There was a long silence and Kenny leaned lightly against the wall, careful to stay out of view of the two friends. Cartman's face had been carefully bland, which was never a particularly good sign.

"So, that dumb ass actually ran out on you, did he?" Kenny's jaw clenched at Eric's tactlessness. The girl had been through enough and -

There was a small, sad laugh.

"That he has." He heard rustling and the squeak of springs as Eric moved around.

"Well, I did always tell you that you were worth one hundred of him." There was yet another long silence before there was an exasperated sigh from the other man.

"Don't give me that tearful look Cooper." More squeaks from the chair and two heavy footsteps. "You know you're better than that. He left you. It happened. You didn't deserve it, and he needs to get his god damn head examined. You are a beautiful, smart, and wonderful woman who any man would be lucky to find himself with."

"Theo..." Her voice was clenched, as she obviously fought back tears.

"It's true. Though, that isn't an offer. As much as I love you sweetheart we both know that would end extremely badly." The softness in the dark haired man's voice shocked Kenny and he frowned. The tone spoke of history, and definite intimacy. "Maybe five years ago we may have been able to have something but - no. Even then, I'm all business, and you would never be okay without at least a little romance."

Kristen muttered something unintelligible and Eric laughed wryly.

"You never did realize how damnably sexy you are. You-"

"I'm not. _Don't_ Theo." Another sigh.

"Kristen. You are extremely attractive. And don't give me any of this self deprecating bullshit, because you know I won't put up with it."

"But it - I...wasn't enough."

"For the gay ass mother fucker who left you for the asshole who treated you, and him like shit for months? Why the hell would you want to be attractive to someone who is that obviously clinically moronic?" Silence was the only response. "I'm sorry. That was...cold of me."

Kenny's heart nearly stopped in surprise. He was still spinning from the idea that there may have been something between his larger friend and his small room mate, but hearing Cartman actually apologize for something sent his mind into a backspin. It took a long moment to regain his composure to turn his mind back to the conversation between the two brunettes.

"- and I don't know what to do Theo. He was my whole god damnable world and now it's gone. I can't sleep, I can barely eat, and I have to be driving Kenny absolutely insane. I'm mopey and irrational - and I hate being irrational. I don't want to take this out on him, or you, or anyone but I can't seem to keep myself from doing stupid shit and hurting people. And I don't even know if I'm doing it on purpose."

"Well first off, he wasn't your whole world. You have your family. You have me. You have your blonde idiot. And second, we both want to be here. If we didn't we wouldn't be, and you know that. Though, we are here for two very different kinds of love, I think." Kenny's heart did stop at that. Cartman was much too observant sometimes.

"I don't want to hurt him." Kristen's voice was barely audible and his stomach clenched painfully.

"He's a big boy and he can take care of himself."

"But-"

"No buts. Right now, you need to get yourself back onto your feet. He's willing to be there for you as you do. I know him, he isn't expecting anything from you, and if at that end of it all you send him packing he will understand. Don't be an idiot and send away someone who you need just because you have some stupid masochistic sense of jewish guilt."

"It has nothing to do with my religion Theo-"

"Yes, yes. Whatever you say. Look. You are beautiful. You are sexy. Plus, if you don't find anyone you can always just say yes to me. We would have extremely attractive children." Kristen laughed.

"What happened to us 'ending extremely badly'?" It was Eric's turn to laugh.

"You misunderstood. Us _dating_ would end extremely badly. Marriage is an entirely different matter." Kenny could feel his body begin to shake as Cartman's tone became eerily serious. "I would be a good husband." The quiet statement didn't seem to come as much of a shock to Kristen.

"I know." At the silence that followed Kenny hesitantly stepped forward to glance around the corner. The world seemed to stop at the sight of Cartman leaning over the small brunette girl, his hands on either side of her head, and his lips pressed tightly to hers. He unconsciously stepped backwards as the gently kiss continued. Finally Cartman pulled away slowly, leaning his forehead against the girls. Kenny silently disappeared around the corner again, ghosting back to his own room. They...Obviously needed time to themselves.

With each step his heart broke a little bit more. He hadn't thought that was possible anymore.

* * *

  
A quiet knock on his door broke him from his trance. A small head poked into the dark room.

"Kenny?" Her gently whisper automatically provoked a noise of acknowledgment from him. "You awake?" With a quiet sigh he sat up, flicking on the light.

"What?" He snapped, his voice raspy from lack of use. He saw her jerk slightly at the tone in his voice.

"I - Theo is taking me to the clubs and I-I just wanted to know if you wanted to come, that's all." Her mouth moved again, but she bit her lip unsure.

"Why would you want me to come?" he asked quietly, ignoring the twinge he felt at making her upset. She frowned.

"Since when do I need a reason to want you around? I thought you'd like to come have fun with us. We haven't been out in ages, because of me, and you should get out."

He stared at her blankly for a long moment before nodding silently and heading over to his chest of drawers to change.

* * *

_  
Kyle wrapped his arms tighter around the small girl, his chin resting on her shoulder, her back pressed tightly to his chest._

He smiled and breathed in deeply, her gently vanilla fragrance filling his senses and calming him. Absently he rubbed his nose against her cheek, and he felt her face break into a gentle smile as she somehow curled further into his embrace. The television played quietly in the background as he kissed her shoulder, her warmth and comfortable-ness lulling him into a mellow state. A happy sigh escaped him.

"I love you," he murmured, his arms squeezing her. He felt her tense. His eyes widened as he realized what had just escaped his lips. He released her as she squirmed, turning to face him. He met her eyes as they searched his, a small frown on her face. He bit his tongue, inwardly screaming at himself, his previous state obliterated. He felt panic building up in his chest each second she stared at him.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I didn't mean, I mean I did mean it, but I didn't mean to say it and-" She kissed him, quieting his ramble.

"I love you too Kyle."

* * *

_So here is the next chapter!_

_I decided to give us some more insite into Kristen and Kyle's relationship to kind of help set the story. I hope you guys like it. Review! Let me know! Any ideas/comments are totally welcome._

_Miric  
_


	4. Suicide

He watched apathetically, his mind cold as Eric spun the other brunette casually. They weren't amazing by any standards, but they danced well enough, and were obviously enjoying it. Kristen grin was matched by the man's as he dipped her suddenly. Her gentle laugh drifted across the room over the loud music and voices of all the people filling the room. It was the first time he had heard he laugh like that in weeks.

He couldn't make her laugh like that.

Eric Theodore Cartman could.

He swallowed harshly before tossing back the rest of his drink. It wasn't fucking fair. He glared at the back of the other man's head. It wasn't fair at all. Cartman was an asshole who treated everyone around him like idiots. He was short tempered, heavy set, and had been a fucking_ evil _child.

And yet he got everything. He had the money, he had the women, he had the success. He had talent, when it came to his photography, and his choice of any prospect he wanted to go for. And now -

Now -

Kenny's vision went red as Cartman pulled the girl closer, his grin growing as he spun them around. Slamming his glass on the table he felt shards biting into his hand. He ignored the bartender's concerned shout. He stormed forward, refusing to meet Kristen's confused gaze. He grabbed Cartman's shoulder, ignoring the biting pain in his palm. The grin on the taller man's face slipped into his normal facade, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Want to cut in, poor bo-" He was interrupted as Kenny's fist landed squarely on his nose.

"Hody _FUB_," he swore, as blood ran down his face. Kristen's face morphed from confused to infuriated.

"What the hell Kenny?" She screamed over the latin music that had come on. As the pounding in his ears began to fade, the sound of the club and Kristen slowly grew. He sobered instantly when she shoved his shoulder roughly.

"Don't fucking ignore me Ken. What the hell was that about?" He stared at his friend in horror, watching as he mopped up his bloody nose with napkins that a nearby table handed to him. "Ken?" His eyes snapped back to Kristen's. She stared at him in confusion mingled with anger. "Kenny?"

He shook his head, stepping backwards and looking away. His head swam uncomfortably. She stepped forward, worry filling her tone as she shouted louder.

"Kenny?" He spun, pushing his way through the crowds, and sliding out the door. He broke out onto the crowded pavement and stared at the sky, his mind whirling. Pain filled his chest and before he could think about it he was sprinting down the street, away from the club, away from Eric Cartman, and away from Kristen.

* * *

  
_Kyle watched his blond friend stick his tongue out at his fiance, his eyebrow raised. She giggled, grabbing his hand. A small smile slid over his lips as she looked up at him, her grey-blue eyes glinting happily. He glanced back up and frowned when he caught the look on Kenny's face._

A small frown flickered in the corners of his mouth and eyes, just behind his smile. He seemed to be watching their joined hands. Surprise swamped through the red head.

There was no way Kenny had a thing for Kristen. The frown disappeared at Kristen's next comment. He watched carefully at the interaction. He could see a flush building up on Kenny's cheeks as his eyes flicked away from the brunette to meet his momentarily.

He gripped Kristen's hand tighter, pulling her towards him protectively. The frown appeared again on Kenny's face as he once again met the green eyes looking at him seriously. Shock flittered through his friends face before a small smile twitched over his lips. The blond nodded so slightly it was almost imperceptible.

Kyle looked forward again. So he did.

But he understood that she was his.

* * *

  
Stan yelped, pulling the blankets up and over himself and his redheaded lover as their blonde friend appeared on their pillows.

"Holy Shit! Sorry! _Sorrysorrysorrysorry_..." He was tumbling off the bed and out the bedroom door before either man could say anything. Stan stared at his friends shocked green eyes for a long time before the pale man giggled. And suddenly they were both rolling over, laughing insanely. As the laughs faded into chuckles, Kyle glanced up.

"Have you ever seen Kenny reappear before? I never have." Stan shook his head.

"Apparently Satan's been getting bored with thinking up new and embarrassing ways to kill him. So apparently he's now looking at embarrassing ways for him to revive." He snickered, before leaning down and kissing Kyle gently. "We should probably go see what he's up to out there." Kyle looked up at him for a long moment before grinning.

"He can wait for a bit. He did interrupt us..."

They lay there, curled in each other arms contentedly for a long moment before Kyle stiffened.  
"Stan?"

"Hmm?"

"He didn't offer to join us." The dark haired man blinked in confusion, before panic flooded his system.

"Shit." Both men dove out of bed grabbing at whatever clothing was handy before tumbling out the door after their blonde friend. They found him pacing in their kitchen, his hands running over his eyes roughly. They both stopped in the doorway, watching him growl to himself. Stan stepped forward hesitantly.

"Kenny? Are you okay dude?" Kenny twitched, his red eyes flying open to meet Stan's. He stared at him silently.

"Kenny?" The blondes mouth moved, but no sound came out. Stan took another hesitant step forward.

"Ken?" The icy blue eyes looked away and locked on the wall of the kitchen.

"Kristen..." He muttered incomprehensibly. At the sound of his ex's name Kyle stepped back slightly, allowing his two friends a modicum of privacy. He rather doubted Kenny's particular interest in his opinion in the matter.

"Ken, what happened?" Stan asked hesitantly.

"Cartman. She fucking kissed Cartman." The statement was drench in pain and frustration.

"What?" Shock swamped both of the other men, and they stared at their friend. Kyle's jaw, in a manner most unusual for the man, dropped down. They both jumped as his fist slammed into their kitchen wall. Anger flooded from the young man, filling the room breathlessly.

"It's not fucking fair Stan. I would do anything for her...anything. And she ends up kissing that fat-"

"Dude, slow down. Start at the beginning. What happened?" Slowly the story was dragged from the blond.

"That fat fuck didn't do anything to help her. I'm the one that looks after her. I'm the one who protects her. He's just an asshole and-"

"Kenny!" Kenny spun to stare at his black haired friend.

"What?" he growled, glaring at the other man.

"When did she tell you she was with him?" Kenny just stared at him. "I know he kissed her, but she's emotional. She may just not have stopped him before you left."

"She was laughing, and so happy, at the club..." Some of Kenny's anger slid away and confusion took it's place.

"Well, yeah. She was out, drinking and having fun with two men who care about her well fare and are trying to make her happy. Why is her being happy a bad thing?" Stan immediately regretted his question when the fury flared up in his friends eyes.

"Because she was happy with _him!_" Stan froze at the pure rage in the blondes voice. "She was smiling and laughing with_ him_. I did everything I could to get her to smile these last couple weeks and I never got anything as easily as he did."

"Ken?" Kyle's quiet voice shocked him back to earth, his anger melting immediately. The pale man looked torn, chewing on his bottom lip in a way that reminded Kenny much too much of the girl in question. He had noticed that in Kristen as well, the small habits that she had obviously picked up from the red head.

They were part of one another and that was something that would never change. It seemed like everyone in this group was getting a part of her, except him.

Stan looked over at his partner in confusion, a warning written in his eyes. Kyle ignored it and walked over, placing a gentle hand on Kenny's shoulder.

"I know I'm not really in a place to give advice but..." He hesitated before continuing. "I know Kristen. The fact that she's willing to be miserably and out of control with you...that says a lot more than her being happy with Cartman. She trusts you to stay and hold her together when she's at her most absolutely vulnerable. She cares about him, and he makes her happy, but she doesn't rely on him like she does you."

Kenny just stared at the red head.

"I know I fucked up with her, but I really truly did and do love her. And I knew she loved me because she let go of the control she clings to with everything else and was just who she was with me. And she trusts you more than she ever did me." The other man's quiet confession held a tone of bitterness. But it made sense. Much too much sense.

Kenny collapsed onto the kitchen chair, his head in his hands.

"I don't know how long I can do this," he muttered, his voice muffled. Years of practice was the only reason the other two could understand the mushed voice. They looked at each other worriedly before sitting on either side of their shaking friend. Stan placed an arm around his shoulders silently, and pulled the blonde in as he collapsed in on himself. Kyle simply sat in silence, his heart torn for his old friend.

There was nothing they could say. There was nothing they could do.

They could never save Kenny from dying - and apparently they couldn't save him from this either.

* * *

  
_Quiet sobs pulled him in the direction of the bedroom of her small apartment._

"Kristen?" He called out gently, pushing the door open slowly. She didn't look up as he stepped into the room. She simply continued to sob into her pillows, her shoulders shaking violently.

He didn't hesitate, crawling into the bed beside her, he pulled her into his arms. She lay there for a long time before looking up him. Her red eyes met his only for a moment before her lips were pressed tightly to his. He pulled away.

"Baby, what's wrong? What happened?" She just shook her head, leaning forward to kiss him again.

"Kristen, come on," he muttered, dodging the kiss. "Talk to me." She met his eyes again, and he found only pleading and lust.

"Please Kyle," she murmured, her hand slipping under his shirt. He muffled a groan by biting his lip and she crawled on top of him, her hand sliding down under the waistband of his jeans. "Please. I just...I need..."

He growled, pressing his lips to hers tightly. She melted into her embrace. He pulled back momentarily, glaring into her eyes.

"We are talking later." He muttered before she captured his lips again.

* * *

He closed the door quietly behind him. His plane ride from Colorado had been long and depressing. There was nothing worse than-

"You fucker." He was slammed up against the wall so hard he saw stars. Gasping he panicedly blinked, trying to clear his vision. Furious brown eyes met his, a surprisingly strong hand gripped around his throat. "I should fucking kill you myself you damned little cock sucker!" He could feel his face flushing as he fought to breathe.

Cartman pushed, and his eyes widened before he was suddenly released, gasping for air. He massaged what he was sure was going to be a wonderfully bruised neck, glaring up at the taller man.

"What the fuck?" he rasped, his lip curling up in anger.

"What do you mean, what the fuck? You fucking killed yourself you fucker!" Kenny just continued to glare, unresponsive. Cartman growled. "You do realize who fucking found you, with your cowardly little wrists slashed and blood soaking into the fucking mud eh?"

Kenny felt his eyes widen. He hadn't thought anyone would actually find him before his body got taken away. He hadn't thought anyone would actually have seen what he-

"She's a mess. She can't figure out what the hell she did wrong, to make you that miserable. Then you disappear for two weeks and leave her on her own. She was barely handling shit before, and then you drop that on her and leave her to her own devices? She won't come back if she offs herself you asshole. Not like you, you fucking zombie." Kenny stared at him, horror curling in his gut.

"She wouldn't. She didn't." Cartman was already shaking his head.

"No you pussy, she didn't. But it wouldn't have surprised me all that much. She's fucking unstable, and for some unexplainable reason she needs you. And you abandoned her on purpose." Cartman's words struck him one at a time and he winced. "Finally getting the picture, you dumb shit?"

Blue eyes met brown and he could see Eric's anger melting slightly into simple irritation. He rolled his eyes and jerked his head towards the hallway.

"She's in her room working on her class plan or something. Go. Apologize." Kenny spun, for once doing what he was told by the larger man with no argument. He strode down the hallway, hearing Cartman muttering to himself about idiot getto boys. He hesitated at the simple white washed door, staring at the doorknob nervously. He jumped when it swung open, coming close to knocking him on his ass. Kristen froze, staring at him for a long moment before tears burst forth and she threw herself into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he deciphered through his sweater. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what I did, but I swear I won't do it again. I'm so sorry. I promise!" He wrapped his arms around her tightly, the familiar warmth filling him, tinged with guilt.

"Hey, no. Kristen it wasn't your fault. I was a dumb ass and ran off. You didn't do anything." Nothing that was her fault anyways... She pulled away to look up at him, confusion filling her gaze. Her hands remained tangled in his sweater.

"But...you...you..." She swallowed hard, looking down at her hands. Her voice dropped, barely audible anymore. "There was so much blood..."

Kenny untangled her small hands, holding them tightly in his. He nudged her chin up with the back of his hand, forcing her to look up at him again.

"Sweety, it wasn't your fault. I...I don't even know what to tell you honestly. I don't know why I was such an idiot. I swear to god though, I won't do it again. I will never leave you alone on purpose." She burrowed into his sweater again.

"Swear on something else," she muttered insolently.

"What?"

"Swear on something else. You and God don't seem to get along all that well. I don't trust anything you swear on him." He laughed slightly, kissing her hair gently.

"Fine. I swear on Lucifers perpetual assholism. That won't ever change." He had expected a laugh, but she simple pulled herself even closer to him, if that was possible. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, resting his lips on her hair. "I'm sorry Kristen. I really am."

"But...why?" She whispered heartbreakingly. "Why did you need to be away from me so badly that you...you..What did I do?" He sighed, burying his head in her hair. He didn't know what to say. There was no way he could say anything and have her not be hurt by it. He decided to go with honesty.

"Kris, I was depressed, and jealous. I didn't want to see you happy with someone else. I was a fucking coward and instead of dealing with it I ran away. You did absolutely nothing wrong."

"Jealous?" she asked in confusion, still not releasing him from her iron grip. "Jealous of what?"

He groaned mentally, before answering.

"Of Cartman. You've been so miserable for the last couple weeks, and suddenly he shows up and you're going out and laughing." He didn't mention the kiss. He didn't think he needed to. "I just - I was mad that he could make you so much happier so easily." She stared up at him in disbelief.

"So...you were mad that I was _enjoying_ myself so you ran off and killed yourself?" Her voice cracked as it raised in pitch. "What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't, obviously," he muttered. Panic fled through his system as she pulled back glaring. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"You ass. Fuck you." She stormed off, slamming her bedroom door again. He sighed leaning back against the wall. After a long moment he trudged into the kitchen.

"Serves you right for eaves dropping. I hope dying hurt like a bitch." Cartman poured himself a glass of juice from the fridge before settling down on one of the kitchen chairs. Kenny looked up at him in confusion.

"What?"

"I said-"

"I heard what you said. I mean what do you mean by that?" he interrupted irritatedly. Cartman raised an eyebrow, and Kenny almost growled at his degrading expression. I was amazing how one look could make you feel like a complete moron.

"You were listening in on our conversation that night. You saw us kiss, you jumped to conclusions. And then you got drunk. Idiotic combination." Kenny's mouth worked, but no words came out. Finally he settled into another chair and glared at his friend chewing on his bottom lip.

Cartman sighed.

"She would never have said yes you idiot." Kenny refused to respond childishly. "Damn it McCormick...We get along well, and I care about her but she would never marry me. I'm not what she needs and we both know it. It was just a kiss. Now get that sand out of your vagina and get over yourself."

Kenny just stuck his tongue out at the brunette, while a weight that he hadn't even really realized was there raised off his shoulders. He settled more comfortably into his chair and listened to the sound of the shower from the next room. It was a terrifying thought, that he could have lost her simply because he had been an idiot. Cartman was right to be pissed off at him. He took a sip of his water, and managed to spray it over the table at Eric's next comment.

"She's in love with you anyways." The heavy mans lip curled in disgust as he wiped water off his face with a napkin. "Very nice McCormick. Very suave."

"What? I...She told you that? She said that?" His voice cracked, the rest of the words coming out as squeaks. Cartman burst out laughing and Kenny felt his face burn. Had he just been yanking his chain? Eric wiped his eyes, still chuckling.

"You are such a love sick puppy McCormick." Eric's childhood southern drawl snuck into his words in his amusement. Kenny glared at him before staring down at his drink.

He had just been playing with him, and he had walked right into the slightly older man's stupid idea of a joke. He glared harder at the water, disappointment curling in his chest from where he normally had it crushed down.

"Don't be so melodramatic Kenny." He glanced up at the other man who's face was now serious. "I'm not kidding, she is. She didn't say anything, and to be honest I'm pretty sure she hasn't even really realized it but it's obvious."

"Stop." Cartman stared at him in confusion as the blonde placed his drink down on the table again. There was a long silence as Kenny pulled his reneged emotions back into control. He looked up to face his friend, his blues eyes quiet for the first time in weeks. "Eric, I know you think you're trying to help but you aren't. It doesn't make a lick of difference what she feels for me right now."

He held his hand up to stop the other man from interrupting. Cartman's mouth snapped shut uncharacteristically.

"I know she cares about me, but she is still tied up in Kyle. She isn't anywhere near being able to start a relationship with anyone never mind someone who reminds her of him. She doesn't have that problem with you because she can separate the two of you in her head. She met you before him, and she was friends with you separately. I was always Kyle's friend, when we met and I was the one that was there through all that shit.

You would never see it, but I can basically see the her wishing I was him sometimes when I show some little habit I picked up from you guys. Until I can be someone separate from South Park it won't work. That or I have to wait until she is completely over him. I won't be a rebound, or a replacement."

Cartman watched him silently through what was probably the longest speech he had ever heard his friend give. When he stopped Eric simply leaned back in his chair, looking at him appraisingly. I was a look Kenny recognized from the art gallery openings, when Eric was trying to decide whether or not to buy a piece.

"You're right, of course." Kenny blinked in surprise.

"I'm...What?"

"Don't be idiotic Kenny. I said you're right. You know me well enough to know that I am mathematical to a fault. To me, I don't understand why she couldn't just let go of him and move onto someone else. You don't see me mourning my ended relationships. But..." Eric hesitated, looking up at Kenny again. "But that is why you are good for her, and I'm not. She needs someone who can understand why she needs to be upset. Not someone who will simply try and fix it. She's just in shock now. She's pissed but give her a day then apologize. She'll be back in your scrawny arms in no time."

Kenny nodded mutely, still amazed by Eric's admission that he, the poor boy, had been right.  


* * *

This one came together pretty quickly:D

Poor Eric, all alone!

Miric


	5. Regretting

_***Warning* Semi-explicit. Not appropriate for young audiences.**_

* * *

He rolled his eyes as Cartman snapped at him to bugger off and slammed the door to the guest room. The larger man was still in a pissy mood over his choice of escape routes the previous week, and it hadn't been an exactly pleasant home life.

Kristen had been huffy as well, but after an oddly short chilling down period she had entered his room asking him if he wanted pizza for supper perfectly normally. It seemed that she had chosen to shut down what had happened completely and pretend it never happened.

Honestly Kenny had no problems with that at all. It hadn't been his proudest moment. He wasn't all that against attempting to repress it. The memory of the horrible rush of emotions and fear and regret that had washed over him as he had watched his blood rush out, and his fingers become numb and drop the knife...

He had never killed himself before. He hadn't even been certain that he _would_ come back. But the need to escape had been so achingly desperate he hadn't been able to think of anything else. He wandered into the kitchen, forcing the memory back into the box in his mind he had been keeping it in and smiled lightly at the dark haired girl who had just finished filling up three plates.

"The royal fat ass doesn't want to be disturbed. He's working on something or another. You can just throw his sandwich in the fridge. He'll come get it when he wants it." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"You got all of that from 'Bugger off poor boy'?" Kenny grinned at her shrugging.  

"What can I say. I read between the lines."

"There was only one line. You can't read between one line."

"I'm special that way." She just laughed and fell into one of the kitchen chairs, taking a bite out of her sandwich. He watched her for a long time, his curiosity growing slowly, creeping from his mind to his mouth.

"So..." Kenny hesitated, biting into his sandwich and chewing it carefully before continuing. "Was there anything...between you and Cartman?" Irritation flashed over her features.

"Kenny, I told you-"

"No, I mean back in the day. When you guys met." Her expression softened and she placed her chin in her hand, poking at her food aimlessly.

"Um, no, not really," she replied finally. He simply raised an eyebrow and continued to stare at her. She glanced up and rolled her eyes at his expression.

"Fine...Nothing big happened. When we started dancing together we went out a few times. After a month or two we both decided that it wasn't the right move for us, so we just saw each other as friends." He blinked at her confession. He had suspected it, but it was still a rather large shock to hear it verbalized. He leaned back in his chair, forcing an air of amusement.

"So, is it true? It's better with a little cushion for the push'in?" She looked up at him in mock outrage.

"Just how easy do you think I am McCormick?" Her tone was light but he could hear the ring of an actual question behind it.

"Well," he asked, shrugging. "Did you?" She pouted, her nose in the air hastily.

"I don't think that is any of your business sir."

"I'll make it my business!" She looked at him, eyebrow cocked.

"OH really? And how do you intend on doing that?" A grin spread over his lips, and she backed up unconsciously at the look in his eye.

"Kenny." He stood up.

"Kenny." She stood as he stalked towards her.

"Kenny!" She screeched as her dove at her. She managed to escape long enough to make it into the living room before he tackled her to the ground. He pinned her arms to the ground with his knees and began to tickle her earnestly.

"Tell me what I want to know, or I'll just keep tickling you!"

"Nev-Never!" she gasped between giggles.

"Teeeeellllll Me!" he demanded, his fingers dancing to a spot he knew to be specifically tender.

"Ack! No! Stop!"

"Tell!"

"Fine!" He stopped, his arms crossed over his chest as he grinned down at her in amusement. He waited patiently for her to catch her breath before poking her lightly in the stomach.

"Do I have to start tickling again?" he asked threateningly. She shook her head violently.

"No! No." As she pulled he allowed her to remove her arms from their pinned position. He tumbled comfortably to the carpet beside her and smiled as she rolled into his arms after a momentary hesitation. She lay her cheek down on his shoulder and relaxed.

"What do you want to know?" She asked, seriously. He thought for a while before answering.

"How serious did you guys get?" It was her turn to pause. He wondered momentarily if she was going to refuse to answer. She was normally extremely blunt with him but he was encroaching on topics that were probably pretty sensitive.

"I don't know. Serious enough I suppose. But do you mean relationship-wize, or physically?"

"Both." She sighed.

"Well, he proposed. So it was pretty serious. We talked about it though, and we decided it wasn't a great idea at the time. You know he isn't one to take his time with something. If he wants it he just goes for it." He nodded, containing both his irritation and amusement. "I was completely blown away, and as much as I did like him it was pretty obvious we wanted completely different things from life. Physically we didn't go that far I guess. We kissed mostly." Kenny battled with his tongue, but lost the fight as the words popped out of his mouth.

"Well then. Should we fly you back to Colorado? All you need to do is fuck Stan and you've got four for four." She stiffened in his arms, pulling away. He tightened his hold, berating himself inwardly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It just...popped out." She hesitantly lay back down. There was a long silence.

"I think you did," she murmured.

"What?"

"Mean it. It bothers you, doesn't it?" He hesitated for a long time before answering.

"Yes, kind of. It bothers me that two of my closest friends got a chance with you that I haven't," he answered slowly. He heard her sigh.

"I'm sorry...I just...I can't right now..." He kissed her on the top of the head lightly.

"I know. It's okay. I was just answering the question." He groaned as his mind poked him for that comment. He was perfectly good at lying to everyone else. Why wouldn't his mind let him lie to her? "No, that's not true. You know I get frustrated. Sometimes I do get angry at you." He felt her curl tighter into him, hiding her face. "But it never lasts long, and I do understand why you can't. Really. I'm just a selfish ass sometimes."

He growled as he heard a small 'yup' from his chest.

"You aren't supposed to agree!" he grumbled in mock outrage. She looked up, her eyes wide and innocent.

"Oh. So sorry." He just glared and rolled on top of her pinning her again.

"Okay. Fine. You're going to get it now!" Her screeches resumed.

"Get a god damned room!" came the shout from the guest bedroom at her screaches. Kenny grinnned, yanking her up and throwing her easily over his shoulder. He ignored her squirming and dragged her into the guest bedroom. Cartman's annoyed looks turned into swears as he threw her onto the bed and continued to tickle her.

"What the hell did I just say!?" the taller man yelled.

"I did get a room! Yours." Cartman just rolled his eyes.

"God damn it Kenny."

* * *

  
He yanked open the bathroom door, muttering to himself. Cartman could be such an ass. He had been a nice guy and driven the idiot to the airlines and all he had done was complain about the car, the food, his presence and anything he could think of. He was such a miserable basta- Kristen shrieked, grabbing a towel from where they hung.

"Oh _Shit_! I'm sorry." He squeezed his eyes shut, turning away. "I didn't realize you were in here. I just got home from work and-" his mouth continued to ramble on. Suddenly his mouth snapped shut, and his eyes snapped open as a gently hand ran over his chest. The other hand clung lightly to the towel around her waist. He looked down at her flushed face as she stared straight forward. He could almost hear her mind whirring.

"It's okay. If...If you need a shower I...we could share?" The quiet offer slammed into his already mixed up brain causing it to screech to a halt. She looked up at him with a small smile, tugging on his hand gently. He simply blinked as she stepped away and dropped the small blue towel. Turning she stepped into the steaming shower, disappearing behind the curtain.

He hesitated for a long moment before his mind lost the battle with his lower extremities and he pushed his sweats off easily, sliding into the warm space behind her.

They stood for a long moment, and he could see the hesitation in her eyes. He swallowed hard as he watched the drops of water sliding down her hair, dripping off her eyelashes and sliding down her lean body. His eyes slid up to her face again.

Her lower lip had disappeared between her teeth and she watched him watching her shyly, a small gleam hiding in her eyes his only cue. He smiled gently at her, stepping forward. Standing beneath the warm water he pulled her to him gently, reveling in the feeling of his skin against hers. Pressing his lips to her forehead he grabbed the shampoo bottle from the side of the shower and opened it with a click. Pouring a small amount into his hand he nudged her from her position curled into his shoulder.

"Turn around," he commanded gently. She did, and his eyes ran along her body again. He took a deep breath to calm himself before gently running the shampoo into her hair. He massaged her scalp gently, grinning at her soft sigh. He could see her tension slipping away as his hands slipped down her neck to her shoulders continuing his soapy massage.

She leaned into his hands, mumbling to herself. He worked his way down her back, seeking out the knots of stress and kneading them out gently. Finally his hands slipped over her hips, before sliding back up to her waist. She leaned back, her back flush to his body and he wrapped his arms tighter around her.

Turning slowly in his arms, Kristen scooped some of the bubbles from her hair, rubbing them into his gently. He buried his face in her shoulder as she continued to run her hands lightly through his blonde locks. His hands slipped absently along her bare back, memorizing the small contours. A gentle heat built in his stomach, filling him comfortably. A small, surprised gasp slipped from the girls lips as his long fingers slipped over her hips again.

He paused, only for a moment before running his hands along her ass lightly, slipping down her thighs trailing soap as he did. Her hands had frozen in his hair, her breathing picking up slightly. Finally his hand slipped between her legs, brushing along the soft folds of skin.

She gasped, and he gripped her tightly around the waist with his other hand as her legs wobbled beneath her. His other hand continued to tease her gently, letting her gasps guide him. He slipped his fingers inside her slowly, eliciting a moan from her dark haired woman before returning to finger the swollen skin lightly.

As her gasps sped up he continued at his slow pace, almost groaning himself at the feeling of her chest heaving against his. He felt her shudder violently, her soft cry muffled by his shoulder. His hand slipped up to her waist, holding her tightly as the shaking subsided.

She pulled away slightly, kissing the corner of his mouth gently. She met his eyes, as her soft hand slipped down his chest, towards his hips purposefully. His heart twisted uncomfortably and he grabbed her hand gently without thinking. He was shaking his head before the question could even make it to her lips.

"It's okay, I'm fine. This was about you." She bit her lip, the question still burning in her eyes. He laughed slightly, hugging her. "Besides, the waters getting cold and your kids have a concert tonight." She nodded slowly as he kissed her forehead. "Go get dressed and I'll be out in a minute. I just want to get the soap out of my hair."

"Kay." The sound of her voice nearly broke the last dregs of will power he desperately clung to, preventing him from taking her roughly against the wall of the shower. She flashed him a smile before disappearing onto the other side of the shower curtain. He waited until he heard the door click shut behind him before gently hitting his head on the wall.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." He groaned looking down at his aching member. "You got us into this fucking mess. We could have just left. We didn't have to get into the shower." He scrubbed the soap out of his hair roughly, swearing again as it ran into his eye. "But no, of course. We have to follow the sexy, naked brunette, who we happen to be in love with by the way into the shower." He turned the shower off, wrapping a towel around himself before making his way to his small bedroom.

He fell back onto his bed, his hand running over his stomach lightly. "And of course we can't keep our hands to ourselves. And now we know what it's like to touch her...the noises she makes..." As dark hair appeared behind his eyelids he growled irritatedly and grasped his member firmly. Stroking violently he choked back a groan. The idea of her warm hands gripping him tightly, her body pressed up against his burned in his mind.

Finally, he collapsed further into the bed, his body sated but his mind in turmoil. That was one more boundary trampled. He could feel desire stirring in his stomach at the thought.

That had been an awful decision. She wasn't his. She wasn't anyones. He was only building himself up to be hurt, the more he allowed to happen.  


* * *

  
He waited in the dark of his room, staring at the ceiling. It had been four days since what had happened in the shower. Four days of minimal conversations and quiet meals. Kristen had been avoiding him when she could, and she hadn't showed up in his room at night since then. He reached over absently, the lack of warm body like an empty hole in his heart.

He had probably pushed things too far. He had stepped over those grey, fine lines and she was going back to sleeping in her own bed. Now he wouldn't even get the chance to pretend anymore. To hold her and-

The door creaked open slightly. He saw her shadow fidgeting in the gentle glow from the hallway. He waited, his breath baited as she stood there for what seemed like hours. Finally a tiny voice slipped into his room.

"Kenny?" He sat up slightly, the tension sliding away slightly at the waver in her voice.

"I'm awake." She took a step into the room and paused, her hands twisting in the oversized sweater she wore. Indecision tore at him, as he fought to figure out the best reaction.

On one hand, she may be hesitant about being near him. In that case, he should help her back to bed and...Suddenly he heard a sniffle come from the small girl. His body went into autopilot. He was up and steering her into the warm bed before he could think twice. She was already under the covers and in his arms before the sobs began. He held her tightly to his chest, murmuring nothings into her hair as she cried into his t-shirt.

He continued to stroke her hair gently as her sniffles died out and her breathing shifted into the deep, slow breathes of unconsciousness. He sighed, pressing his lips to her hair. It didn't matter what he thought, or what he wanted. When it came to her there was nothing he could do to stop himself from trying to heal the wounds that stuck out so obviously.

* * *

_Hey guys I'm back!_

_Sorry it's been a while, but I've been in a bit of a crappy mood and this isn't a story I can write when I'm like that. I was actually getting pissed off at my own characters for being melodramatic and stupid. But I'm in a rather better frame of mind now, so hopefully I'll get a good amount done in the next little while._

_Ack! Actual interaction between them! Gotta love showers. ; )_

_So let me know what you think, any ideas, etc. By the way, does it drive anyone else crazy that uploading totally screws up all of your formatting? I have to keep going through it again and again fixing bolds and italics. Gah. Oh well.  
_

_Miric_


	6. Frustration

"Hey Ken?" He looked up absently from his novel. Kristen stood, leaning comfortably against the door frame to the living room.

"Yeah?" Slipping his finger between the pages of his book he let it slip closed.

"I'm going to lunch with my parents." He smiled at her. It was good for her to get out of the house, even just to go for lunch. She kept locking herself up and it was getting out of hand.

"Sounds like fun. Enjoy yourself." He turned back to his book and managed to read an entire paragraph before he noticed that she was still standing there, fidgeting. "You okay Kris?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just-" She bit her lip, before giving him a quick grin. "Wanna come meet my folks?" He blinked in surprise, unsure of his response. His minds immediate reaction was one solid 'Hell No! We do NOT meet parents' before he reminded himself that technically they were not seeing each other so the chances of a shotgun being involved were small. It was rather ironic how much that idea hurt. It wasn't like he _wanted to have a shot gun against his chest (again), but..._

"-it isn't like they bite. Well not hard anyways. And I think they want to meet the guy I'm living with. Not that they are going to interrogate you or anything, I mean-" Kenny laughed.

"Shh you. Yes I'll come. What should I wear?" She glanced over him, and he felt his chest contract tightly.

"Whatever you like. We aren't formal. You look good in anything." She grinned at him, before jogging down the hallway to her room. He felt his chest tighten at the compliment.

"Damn," he muttered under his breath.  


* * *

He watched absently from the side of the ring as Kristen swung herself up into the grey horses saddle. She had dragged him from the house to the barn in the back, telling him they had more family members to meet. As soon as her eyes had fallen on the grey monster he had been completely forgotten.

But if it meant she would keep smiling like that, he was pretty sure he could handle it.

"So you're in love with my daughter, hm?" Kenny spun, his eyes wide as Kristen's mother slipped into the space beside him.

"I-What?" She laughed quietly, reminding him so much of her daughter he had to glance up at the trotting horse to ensure she was still there.

"You're in love with Kristen." He stood there silently, unable to think of anything to say. Lunch had been a decently noisy affair, with a lot of good natured bickering between the family members. Kristen's sister's noisy new baby had squalled the whole time, prompting a lot of laughter. He had remained fairly quiet, unsure of what was expected of The Roommate. He hadn't really gotten a chance to talk to any of them one on one.

Apparently now was his chance.

"She's really hurt you know," she continued. He nodded, as they slipped onto slightly more comfortable territory.

"I know." They both watched her as she took the large horse through it's paces.

"You could easily take advantage right now. She wouldn't even realize what you were doing." The statement wasn't damning, it was simply an acknowledgment of fact. He swallowed, the scene the week before in the shower flashing through his minds eye.

"I could," he replied bluntly. He could feel blue eyes on him, weighing.

"I liked Kyle. He was a good man and perfect for her." He could feel his chest tightening, and a pained breath escaped his mouth, louder than he wanted. "But life happens. I'm glad she has someone watching over her. She needs it. She forgets to worry about herself more often than not." He turned to the older woman, unsure. "But if you hurt her, if you use her, you will be wearing your balls for a necklace. You got that bucko?" He wasn't sure if he should laugh or not. Her eyes were dancing.

"Got it. Balls necklace. Check." She chuckled, patting him on the back.

"Good. Now I've saddled up Trenton. You're going to learn to ride."

* * *

  
It was hot. Kenny wiped his brow on the back of his arm, leaning back in his chair to try and escape the lances of sunlight sneaking through the kitchen window. It had been one whole week since their air conditioner had died and of course it was hotter than Hell. He should know.

He swallowed hard, his eyes trained to the girl as she made her way to the fridge. The short shorts she wore were frayed and showed a lot more skin than she usual was willing to reveal. The pink cotton tank top didn't do a whole lot better. As she bent down to grab an apple from the crisper her groaned slightly, feeling a familiar stirring in his abdomen.

She stood looking at him curiously.

"Did you say something?" He could see goose bumps on her exposed skin from the cool of the fridge hitting her heated skin. He shook his head, not trusting himself to speak. She leaned down again and his eyes were dragged magnetically to her ass. She turned around, meeting his eyes. Suddenly she grinned, a wicked smile on her face. She wandered over towards him as his face burned.

"See something you like?" she murmured, raising an eyebrow. He swallowed as she leaned over the counter, giving him a fantastic view of her boobs. His eyes flickered down unwittingly, only adding fuel to the fire in his lower stomach.

He glared at her, fighting to get his hormones in check. This wasn't fair. It wasn't at all fucking fair for her to play with him like this. She stood at the look in his eyes.  
"Is something wrong?"

"Yes there is something fucking wrong. Go put some fucking clothes on." Her eyes widened in surprise at his tone and her cheeks flared.

"Well I'm so very sorry my fashion sense offends you," she growled at him, crossing her arms uncomfortably across her chest.

"What do you expect, trouncing around the house looking like someone who should be standing on the damn street corner?" Fury flared through her expression.

"I'm sorry that someone didn't check the radiator before summer started. If it wasn't so bloody hot in here I would have worn something more to your tastes." He stood shoving the chair back.

"I'm just as hot as you, and I'm managing to not look like a tramp." He glared at her, all the while his mind screaming at him to stop. He knew, in a small corner of his mind that he was just hot, grouchy, and frustrated with the situation in general. He knew he was going to regret his actions come morning, and he knew that he didn't believe what he was saying.

That small corner was stomped down quickly by the fury that the rest of his mind felt.

"Fuck you!" She took a step back, hurt filling her expression.

"Oh, what a witty response," he drawled. "And a pretty typical one from a whore." She just stared at him in horror, obviously at a loss of what to do. He stomped forward, and she winced, jumping out of his way.

"I'm going to the bar," he growled, slamming the front door on his way out.  


* * *

He threw back the shot with ease, wincing as the strong alcohol his his tongue. He sighed as it burned it's way down through his system, adding to the warm fire already burning in his stomach.

"What was I thinking?" he muttered to himself. "She's gonna change the locks on me. Then what'll I do? I guess I could kill myself and see if Lucifer will keep me around a while then-" A overly bright giggle broke through his pondering.

"Aw, isn't that a little over ambitious? I mean, it would be a terrible loss to the world if a cutey like you offed yourself." He looked up at the grinning blonde woman. She smiled back at him before waving over the bartender. "So, girl problems?" He opened and closed his mouth a few times before sighing and looking down at his empty drink.

"Yes," he answered simply. The scraping of a chair being dragged closer to his brought his eyes back up.

"We'll have two more of whatever he's drinking!" Winking, the bartender quickly poured to the two drinks before heading back to the other side of the bar.

She threw the drink back with ease and he raised an eyebrow. She just winked before leaning on the bar and meeting his eyes fearlessly.

"So what's the problem sweety? She run off with some other guy? Ditch you at the alter?" He was already shaking his head. He tossed back his drink and slammed it back down on the counter.

"No, nothing like that. She just can't make up her mind and I'm fucking tired of waiting." He glared at the mirror on the far wall, feeling his mind beginning to blur comfortably.

"Then don't." He blinked, looking back at the blue eyed blonde. He had never thought of that! It was just so...simple!  "Maybe I won't." She laughed.

"Well good. Then you won't mind coming and dancing with me. Since you aren't waiting for anything?"

"You know it," he answered with a grin, raising a fair eyebrow at the blonde. She grinned at him, sliding off her stool and in between his legs. She licked her lips and looked him up and down boldly.

He felt his stomach twist uncomfortably, but shoved it down, ignoring the screaming little voice in his head. He simply smirked and kissed the woman back when she grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him forward. She pulled away, yanking him into the semi-privacy of a booth. Shoving him further back into the darkness of the booth, she climbed into his lap. This wasn't exactly dancing but hey, he could definitely handle that.

His arms wrapped around her waist and her lips trailed down his neck. He leaned back, enjoying the sensations.

"Here's your jacket. I thought you might need it. It's starting to rain." A quiet voice broke threw his drunken haze and he watched the brunette walk out the club door. He blinked, looking down at the coat sitting on the chair beside him before turning to the woman in his lap.

"What?" he asked, unsure of what she had just said.

"I said, who's that?" Millions of answers flooded his mind and he pushed them all away. He wasn't going to wait anymore.

"No one." She grinned at him as he leaned forward to kiss her again.  


* * *

As he walked up the front steps he continued to rehearse his apology in his head. The sun glinted happily off the leaves of the trees surrounding them. Glaring at the sunny beginning of the day he growled under his breath about beautiful days not matching miserable moods. He stared at the front door nervously, unsure of what would happen when he entered.

His head pounded and rubbed his temples agitatedly. What had he been thinking? Screaming at her then running away to some bar? He couldn't remember much of what happened after that aside from him and the blonde woman he had woken up beside teetering down the sidewalk singing some stupid made up song about moving on to the better life.

He was a god damnable idiot.

Suddenly the door swung open suddenly and he found himself being yanked roughly inside.

Pressing him into the door, Kristen kissed Kenny hard. He could feel the air disappear from his lungs as he gasped in surprise. The gasp turned into a groan as her tongue swept along his. As his mind finally caught up to the situation, his hands slipped onto her hips, pulling her towards him. This was not an apology but- he never finished that thought as her hands slipped under his shirt.

Her hands trailed along his face, his neck, his chest; and everywhere they went he could feel a burning trail. Kristen pulled away slightly, her lips sliding across his cheek to his neck. His fingers dug into her waist hard enough to bruise as she bit down on his shoulder roughly. Growling into her hair he spun her around, pressing her harder into the wall.

Molten blue eyes met his briefly before she tangled her hand in his hair, pulling him into another kiss. He hissed as her teeth bit into his lip, the taste of copper dancing in his mouth. His hands slipped up, running along the skin of her waist as her shirt rose effortlessly.

His mind exploded in pleasure as she moaned into his kiss, yanking on his shirt roughly. Pushing aside the question of where those buttons he heard hit the floor went he pressed his chest against hers yanking her head back, his fingers in her dark hair. His lips slid along her neck and shoulders, the skin like heated satin.

Gasping, he buried his face in her shoulder as her hands slid across his hips. Deft fingers pulled at the button on his jeans. Her jagged breath ran across his shoulder blade as she pushed against him, her hands stumbling as the zipper caught. In the brief respite his mind slowly pushed its way back through the fog of lust.

"Stop," he moaned, his voice muffled by her skin. His plead was ignored, or unheard as small hands pushed at the fabric around his hips. He grasped her wrists tightly, slamming them against the wall. A shocked gasp flew across his ears. "I said Stop."

For a long moment he didn't move, the only noise in the apartment their combined gasps. Clenching his teeth as she pulled helplessly against his grip, he looked up. Confusion, anger, and lust blossomed in the green orbs as he met her eyes.

"Kristen, stop. We have to stop." He released on of her hands gently. It immediately slipped down his bare chest, her nails biting lightly into his skin.

"No," she whispered defiantly, leaning forward to nip lightly at his collar. He swallowed hard, anger flaring up in his gut. Slamming her hand back against the wall he glared at the brunette.

"Stop it." The defiance in her eyes wavered, panic taking it's place. She fought to free her hands.

"Kenny...Please. Please?" His breathe caught at her words, as his resolve battled it out with his hormones.

"No Kristen." His eyes squeezed shut as he tried to keep himself under control.

"Why?" The whisper pulled at his heart, the pain in her voice obvious.

"Kristen, I will do anything for you-" His eyes opened, meeting hers again. "-except that." Anger and rejection fought for dominance in her eyes. Anger won.

He released her as she pushed against him. She shouldered her way past him, running down the small hallway into her bedroom. The door shut with a resounding bang. He stared after her for a long time.

"Fuck."  


* * *

_So I know this isn't super long:p But hey, it's up at least. We're almost at the end of this one too! That means I'll have managed to finish two whole little stories. Yay me!_

_And yes, before someone says it, I know I left a lot of the 'meet the parents' stuff out. But I didn't think it was nessisary. I based the idea of her parents on mine and my mum has always basically gone with the 'I love you, but it's your life to fuck up.' mentality. I don't think that her parents would pry if they didn't think she was in danger. And who could be scared of Kenny??_

_So finally the vaguely climactic point in the story._

_Miric_


	7. Finales

_Stan's hand whipped out, grabbing Kyle's wrist and yanking him away from the girl. Three pairs of shocked eyes spun to look at the black haired man. His eyes were fixed on one pair of green orbs. Anger, desperation, and need rushing through his blue eyes he swallowed, unsure._

_"What's wro-"_

_She felt his heart stop as Stan grabbed the back of Kyle's head, crushing his lips sloppily against the other mans. The redhead didn't move, didn't even seem to breath as Stan pulled away slowly, his eyes closed. _

_Kristen felt her chest contract as their noses brushed, and she physically winced at Kyle's hiss as he gasped. The dark haired boy leaned forward, pulled by the sound of his best friend breath. As their lips brushed again his eyes sprung open, and he stumbled back. Kyle body seemed to be pulled by his retreat, the emptiness in the air before him dragging him towards the brunette._

_"Kyle." Stan's voice broke harshly, cracking over the name. "Kyle. I- I'm so sorry." He spun, diving away from the porch like the hounds of hell were on his heels. Kyle stared after him, his eyes oddly blank until a small white hand grasped his shoulder gently. He spun, facing his her. She could see the panic and confusion swirling in his eyes. His beautiful green eyes._

_"Kristen, I-"_

_She didn't let him finish but brushed her lips over his gently. She pulled away slowly, frozen in the moment. Her eyes were closed, and lips slightly parted as she battled. All she wanted to do was grab onto him and never let go. But it wasn't the same. He wasn't kissing her anymore. Finally she pulled away, finitely._

_"Kyle," she whispered, her voice tiny. "We both know that you will never be as happy with me as you are with him. This has nothing to do with how we feel about each other. There is no way that it could stand a rain drops chance in hell against what you two have. Go find him." His hand brushed over her cheek and she leaned into it, her eyes closing again._

_"Kristen, I love you..." A small, sad smile graced her lips._

_"I know. I know you would have married me, and you would have been happy and loved me the rest of my life. And that's how I know how much you love him. Now go." She stood, perfectly still as he kissed her again gently before spinning and running down the street. The world seemed to stop, and she could feel her legs beginning to shake. Her entire body felt completely numb, and she could feel the panic welling in her chest. She swallowed, taking a deep breath. She straightened and turned, smiling gently._

_"Thanks for dinner Ken. I'll see you in the morning?" Her eyes brooked no comment as he nodded mutely. "Cool. See you later." She walked briskly down the sidewalk, waving as she turned the corner towards her apartment. _

_She walked quietly down the sidewalk, placing one foot decisively in front of the other. She could hear, absently, the hum of vehicles, and the noises of people walking and moving around her but nothing penetrated her concentrations._

_'Left. Right. Left. Right-" Her mantra continued endlessly. And suddenly she was standing before her apartment door, silver key grasped painfully tight in her hand. She knew there was a reason she shouldn't be here, but a quiet fog had filled her mind. Numbly she pushed the key into the lock, pushing the door open. _

_She tossed her keys into the small bowl beside the door, letting her coat drop to the ground with a quiet thud. Her shoes joined many others as she kicked them into the hall closet. Wandering into the kitchen, and opening the fridge absently she simply shut it again, as she realized that she really wasn't hungry. She stood, in the middle of the kitchen, her bare feet sticking to the cold linoleum. She looked around her in confused panic._

_There had to be something that she needed to do. Something to clean, or to watch, or to finish. Phone calls to make really? She was swamped, the feeling of something left unfinished growing in her gut to wash over her completely. Her eyes darted around the small apartment searching for something, anything. _

_She ran, as quickly as she could in the small space, her eyes still wide. Finally reached her bedroom door, and for a long moment she just stared at it. Finally, her hand trembling she pushed it open._

_The emptiness of the room echoed in her ears, making them ring uncomfortably. The bed had been left unmade this morning, and the open window had allowed a chill to enter the room. She stood, the world weighing down on her as she stared at the empty place on the bed. _

_There was no one waiting for her at home. There was no one coming home to her. A wave of nausia washed through her, sending her to her kneed. From there she fell further, her hands wrapped around her stomach as the pain continued to shoot through her. _

_"No," she whispered, shaking her head. "No."_

* * *

  
Kenny stared at his door, waiting for the knock that wasn't coming.

* * *

  
_Kristen watched as Kenny ran towards her. As he passed she joined him silently. She could sense him searching for the words, unsure. But what do you say? 'I'm sorry your fiancee ran off with my friend at my dinner party?' She bit her lip gently, and kept running._  


* * *

  
Their eyes met as she shifted past him in the hallway. She silently turned away from him and he could only listen as the door slammed shut as she left for work.  


* * *

  
_She pulled the small gold band off her finger, staring at it for a long time. Anger washed over her and she bit back a screech as she yanked the bottom drawer of their - her - dresser. She threw the ring down, letting it disappear into a pile of Kyle's clothing._  


* * *

  
He hesitated before knocking lightly on her door. When there was no answer he pushed the door open slightly. The lights where off and he could hear her quiet rhythmic breathing as she slept. He sighed, his eyes clenching shut. Shutting the door quietly, he leaned back against it as two more tears joined his count.  


* * *

  
_She smiled brightly at her students as the small children continued their song. She could hear the rustle of all of the parents in the audience happily watching their children sing in their loud, squeaky voices. She nodded encouragingly, mouthing the next few words as she turned the page of her music. She never noticed that her hand shook. _  


* * *

  
Every morning she was gone before he was awake, and when she returned he almost never heard her. Everything was ruined. Everything was gone.  


* * *

  
_She grinned as they walked up to his house, getting so far as to turn up onto his driveway. She froze suddenly, seeing as clear as day Kyle pulled violently into Stan's arms on the porch. As the memory faded she glanced into Kenny's worried face and smiled slightly, shaking her head. She turned, walking back to her empty apartment. _  


* * *

  
He woke suddenly as his door creaked open. He froze, his breathe catching in his throat as she paused in the doorway. And just as quickly the door shut with a click and he bit down on his tongue to keep from calling out in pain.  


* * *

  
_No matter how often he tried to bring up what had happened, she seemed to read his mind and beat him to it. All of a sudden she would have a bright idea of what to do, or who to go visit, or some random chore she needed to get done. She was coroding slowly though, fighting against the slip. Each day was another rush of memories, breaking down her walls. _

_Kenny wasn't sure what he wanted in that regard. On one side, if they collapsed, it may be easier for her to heal and to get past it. But on the other side, he couldn't decide how much damage the inevitable fall out was going to have. _

_As he watched her swallow hard and turn away from his soft eyes he sighed. One more day. He would wait. _  


* * *

  
He couldn't give up on this. He couldn't. One more day. He would wait.  


* * *

  
_He just laughed again, taking a swig of his own. With the freedom given by her closed eyes, he looked at her more closely. She was tall and thin, with dark hair and dark eyes, if he remembered correctly. Plain clothes, all fairly well kept and well fitting, rustled as she shifted, lifting her beer to her lips again. Simple and classic, as Kyle had once described his type. She definitely fit the bill. The only thing slightly out of context was the glinting band around her ring finger. The small diamonds caught the light, sparkling happily. It looked like something Kyle would buy. _

_It wasn't ostentatious but it subtly screamed of money. He was always so conscious to not show off that it often worked the other way, making everything seem like it was 'nothing' no matter the cost. He had never understood how hard it was to not notice, when money was something you didn't have much of. _

_She was definitely Kyle's._  


* * *

  
He watched as in a rare moment of carelessness Kristen had allowed herself to sleep in and walked into the kitchen while he was still eating. She glanced at him, panic filling her eyes before she spun on her heel and headed out the door.

"Kristen!" he cried, the panic on her face breaking any control he had. His chair clattered to the floor as he jumped to his feet, and in three long strides he was behind her where she had frozen. He grasped her hand gently, and relaxed slightly when she didn't pull away.

"Please Kristen. Please I can't do this anymore. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you this angry. If there is anything I can do please tell me. I'll do anything. Just...talk to me." He final words were cut down to a whisper as the lump in his throat grew.

She turned, looking at him with sad eyes.

"I'm not angry Ken," she murmured, looking away. "I'm embarrassed. And sorry."

"What? Why?" The look in her eyes made him feel rather stupid when she glance up at him.

"I freaking jumped you. And tried to push you into something you obviously don't want. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, and then I did, and it's just...humiliating. Then of course I stormed off like a bitch about it...Never mind the fight before you left and..." A flush rose over her cheeks. He stared at her in complete incomprehension. "I didn't want to keep making you uncomfortable. You obviously didn't want..."

"Didn't want what?" Her reply was tiny, and barely audible.

"Me."

"You think I don't want you? Are you out of your fucking mind?" Her eyes lifted up to meet his hesitantly, confusion just as heavy in her eyes as his.

"But...You..." She trailed off, sighing frustratedly, obviously unsure of what to say.

"Kris." He raised her chin up, meeting green eyes with an amused smile. "There is absolutely nothing I would love more than to toss you into bed and never let you leave." Her flushed cheeks reddened further at his comments. "Of course I want you."

"Then...why...You went home with a complete stranger but with me you wouldn't..." His hand slipped from her chin to brush along her cheek. He brushed his lips to hers lightly. His body buzzed at the contact. He hadn't even spoken to her in almost a week. He sighed deeply.

"I love you. And I will do anything for you, you know that. But...if you let me into that part of your life, and then decide you want me to leave...I don't think I would be able to handle that. She was just some random one time thing. She didn't matter. Plus I was drunk, and angry, and we know that is an extremely bad combination for me." Comprehension dawned in her eyes. "I want you Sweety, but I want all of you. And unless you're ready to give me that, then sex is a really bad idea."

"Oh." He chuckled, hugging her tightly before releasing her. He could feel the tension of the last few days lifting.

"Oh is right. You idiot. Thinking I don't want you." He grumbled into her hair as her arms slipped around his waist. He felt her swallow hard. "And I'm sorry, for what I said before I left. I was just frustrated. And seeing what I couldn't have right there was driving me insane."

She remained in his arms silently before resting her head on his shoulder gently.

"I don't know if I can promise forever Ken but...I want you to have all of me. I want to be yours. I can't imagine my life anymore without you in it. It drives me crazy to think of you with anyone else. I had to leave when I saw you with that bitch. Otherwise I might have killed her. And the last few days...I've just wanted to die. It hurt more...it hurt more than when I went back to my empty apartment after Kyle left." He felt his heart clench painfully, fear swamping him. He released her slowly, pushing her back.

She looked back at him, her eyes just as terrified as he was sure his own were, with hope dashing through them.

"I love you." He felt the air woosh from his lungs at her timid pronouncement.

"Please," he whispered. "Please don't do this to me if you aren't absolutely sure. Don't do this because you think you should. Or just because your jealous." A tear splashed on the floor, dripping down her tiny nose. A small broken smile appeared on her lips.

"I'm not. Well I am, but that isn't why. I love you." Her hand ghosted along his cheek.

His lips were against hers. His hands tangled in her hair, and hers grasped at his waist. Tears dripping down both of their cheeks as they kissed softly. She pulled away slowly, resting her head on his shoulder, her lips brushing gently against his neck. His arms tightened around her shoulders as he buried his face in her hair.

"Sorry I took so fucking long." Chuckling at her statement, as well as the misfit sniffles that punctuated it he felt a grin burst out over his lips.

"Not a problem love. I would have waited for you forever."  


* * *

The End.

_And we've finally arrived. I know a lot of people will probably be perturbed with the ending, but I like leaving things to people imaginations. Just incase someone didn't understand, all italics, like in previous chapters are flashbacks. In this case, most of the directly corispond to the last chapter of 'Perfect'. It was Kenny's perspective then, and now it's Kristens. _

_I hope you enjoyed this. I can't believe it's done..._

_Thanks for reading, and let me know if you want more!_

_Miric._


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